The Light Was Never Gone.

Through my training and my life experience, I have studied grief for many years. I became a Grief Astronomer ( a nod to Andrea Gibson, thank you for your gift).

And by grief, I do not only mean the loss of loved ones. I mean all forms of transition and loss. Loss of status, role, company, identity. Changes in teams, values, direction, or life circumstances.

Like many of you reading this, my strategy was to cope with grief by focusing intensely on a passion, a role, or a job. By becoming the best at what we do. By reaching for something just beyond grasp, doing more and more and believing that one day it will finally satisfy the ache inside.

Over time, walls begin to form. Shadow selves emerge. Parts of us learn how to perform, achieve, endure. Slowly, we move away from the truer essence of who we are, or who we might yet become.

Then one day, often quietly, we realise we are exhausted.

The path we have furrowed for so long, the seeds we have carefully sown, are no longer producing the harvest we hoped for. And because we have travelled so far down that road, it becomes hard to see the turnings. Hard to see beyond the crop we have grown. It can start to feel as though we are trapped.

But we are never truly trapped. Except by our own minds, which are extraordinarily skilled at repeating the habits that once helped us survive, but no longer help us live well.

The palaces that we built to keep us safe no longer feel as enjoyable. The walls are high, the furnishings luxurious and from the outside all is well with our world. But inside those walls it is a different reality entirely.

I talk about the light being dimmed even though the sun is always in the same place and shining as brightly. So how do you let the light back in?

It doesn’t not mean you need to leave everything behind or move palaces.

Sometimes it simply means the inner rooms need redecoration or you choose to put some cracks in the armour that you forged, for good reasons, years ago, and let the light shine out.

That is where I can help. If you would like to know how..let’s talk