The You That Only You Know… Doesn’t Exist

This was sent to me by one of my coachees. I love it because it's something that comes up alot in coaching sessions. Very rarely is it raised as " I had just some amazing feedback about me that I didn't know!" More often it's about an exploration of how to influence or communciate with others; a question as to why you are not understood.

Have you ever paused to wonder how others truly see you? If every person carries a different imprint of who we are, where does that leave our sense of self? Who are we, really?

During the Pandemic I had one of these moments, several actually! Seeing myself on screen every day for long long hours, I began to think how others see me. So, I asked a few people and was surprised by the range of perceptions.

A different version of you exists in the mind of everyone you've ever met. Each shaped by their own lens, experiences, and interactions with you. And here’s the twist, the person you believe yourself to be? That version lives only in your mind.

But what if we saw this as an invitation? A gentle nudge to rethink how tightly we hold onto the idea of "I am this" or "I am that." When I let go of the version of me that I had held onto so tightly, I found everything flowed with more ease and doors opened to work that I hadnt considered.

In leadership, and in life, we often define ourselves by roles, titles, achievements, or the narratives we've carefully crafted over the years. Yet, these are just stories. Helpful, yes. But also limiting when we forget they are not the whole truth.

When we accept that we are a mosaic of perceptions, something beautiful happens. We loosen the grip on needing to control how we're seen. We begin to lead and live from a place of authenticity rather than performance.

I oftent talk about the philosophy of Ubuntu: "I am because we are." It's a reminder that identity is not a solitary construct but a dynamic dance between self and others. Between who we believe we are and how we connect, impact, and inspire those around us.

So, how do we navigate this?

It starts with curiosity and compassion. Instead of striving to "correct" how others perceive us, we focus on alignment with our values, our purpose, and how we show up consistently across all spaces.

Because while we can't control the versions of us that live in others' minds, we can choose to lead with integrity, openness, and heart. That’s where true freedom lies. Not in being perfectly understood, but in being authentically ourselves, regardless of the reflections we see.

As you move through your week, I invite you to reflect:

Where am I holding tightly to an identity that no longer serves me?

How can I lead with more presence, knowing that every interaction shapes a new version of "me"?

Am I living in alignment with who I truly want to be, beyond titles and expectations?

In a world of shifting perceptions, the most powerful anchor is self-awareness and the courage to embrace the fluidity of who we are becoming. On May 1st, I am sharing some ideas on how an awareness of energy shapes this perception of self and how you can use this.

If you're curious about exploring your authentic leadership beyond labels and expectations, you're warmly invited to join me at The Number 8 Club, a community where leaders and changemakers come together to reflect, connect, and grow in a space that celebrates individuality and collective wisdom. May 1st at 6:30 - 8:00pm. It's a Free taster session and the link is https://www.carrollmacey.coach/events/no-8-club-launch

Or, if you're ready to go deeper on a personal journey of alignment and purpose, discover The Collective Ascent, a transformative experience blending Eastern wisdom and Western psychology to help you lead with stillness, clarity, and impact.

✨ Sometimes, the most powerful step is simply giving yourself permission to rethink who you are and who you're becoming.

Feel free to reach out or explore more at www.carrollmacey.coach. I’d love to walk alongside you on that journey.